Slogan Cushions
Hand-stitched slogan cushions — the funny ones. Velvet reverses, inner cushions included, mostly 45cm square.
Why these work and printed slogan cushions do not
The joke is the medium.
Needlepoint is the craft of embroidered proverbs and framed samplers — patient, wholesome, the thing that hangs in a hallway saying Home Sweet Home. It carries two centuries of associations with sitting rooms and grandmothers.
Putting something blunt on it, in that same technique, is genuinely funny. Someone sat and hand-stitched thousands of individual stitches to tell your guests to go home. A printed cushion saying the same thing is just a printed cushion.
It is also why these read as decor rather than as novelty. The craft carries the joke into a room that would reject a slogan mug.
Choosing one
Please Leave By 9 — the only rectangular lumbar cushion in the range, so it sits at the front of a pillow pile rather than repeating another square. Genuinely useful hosting infrastructure.
Home Sweet F*cking Home — one word added to the archetypal sampler phrase. Pink velvet reverse, so it looks entirely respectable turned over.
Be Nice or Leave — floral and peace signs behind a blunt instruction. The colour softens it.
If You Can't Say Anything Nice… Sit By Me — green and navy, the most restrained of the group. The one for a room that wants the joke without the brightness.
Good Vibes or Good Byes — the loudest.
I Don't Cook But I'm Great At Making Reservations — for kitchens that have never been used. Works as a hostess gift precisely because the host ordered in.
When Life Gives You Lemons, Add Vodka — bar areas and drinks corners.
Just One More Episode — checkerboard, and the least aspirational slogan here. Nobody has ever watched one more episode.
Sleep Slay Repeat — pink stripe, reads as a striped cushion first and a slogan second, which is why it works in a bedroom.
A note on placing them
One slogan per room. Two is a set; three starts to look like a gift shop.
They also need somewhere people sit and read them. A slogan cushion on a bed nobody visits is wasted.
Details and care
Hand-stitched needlepoint front, velvet reverse, inner hollowfibre cushion included. 45cm square except Please Leave By 9, which is a lumbar rectangle.
Spot clean only, blotting rather than rubbing. Never machine wash.
